The Comparison Leader
Dear Leader,
I trust this meets you in good health, as we wrap up the first half of 2025.
Very early in my leadership journey, I was exposed to some kind of inspiring meeting, leadership congress and training, etc. I attended an event where other young leaders would be sharing their ideas, plans, goals and results. For some of those meetings, it was compulsory as a leader in my organisation. For some of the events, I attended because at that time I realised that I needed to be exposed to bigger and better leaders outside of my immediate circle and current organisation. At first when I arrived at such meetings I was intimidated. I felt threatened by the success of others as they talked and shared ideas. It became clear very quickly that I wasn’t in their league. Some of them led organisations with people that were five times the size of mine and they had many more and much better ideas and strategies than I did at that time.
It took me sometime to realise that I was approaching leadership growth the wrong way. I was a comparison leader.
I have grown over the years to realise that great leaders are always willing to share their ideas and strategies, not to make you feel threatened but to inspire you to produce as much result you desire in your leadership journey.
As you grow in your leadership, I want you to know that comparison is a subtle yet destructive leadership pattern that quietly undermines your growth and influence as an early stage leader. I use the term “Comparison leaders” because they are those who constantly measure themselves and their team against others. They draw their energy from how they stack up, not from how they step up.
Comparison is deadly for you!
If you always or sometimes feel threatened or intimidated by the success of your peers or other leaders, or perhaps you find yourself constantly measuring your progress by someone’s pace - this letter is for you.
If you find it difficult to celebrate others' win without inward insecurity or you base your next move on what others are doing rather than your purpose - you are leading from a place of scarcity and not service - this letter is also for you.
What you don’t know is that not all comparison voices are loud. Sometimes, it is that inner dialogue in your head asking “why did they get more recognition”, “I need to outshine them”, “They are doing better than me - I must be failing”, “I need to pepper them”.
Let’s get a bit into the psychology behind it. Comparison comes from insecurity, unresolved identity and imposter syndrome. Today we live in a world where it is so easy to see what others are doing and being bombarded by other people’s composed pictures, big announcements, etc. and in those contents visibility overshadows value so many young leaders fall into the trap of defining themselves through others. If you fall into this trap, you are going to be a fake leader - disconnected from a core vision, making poor decisions, zero innovation and engaging in unhealthy competition.
I write to you a more excellent way:
As you begin and continue your leadership journey, don’t compare yourself and don’t compare your journey. You are on a very unique journey. No one else has your exact fingerprint. You are born to do what only you have been codified to do. So take these few point seriously:
Anchor yourself and your identity on purpose: Get rooted in “WHY” you do what you do and don’t drift. Keep that “WHY” before you always. Frame it in your living room and let it remind you daily of your existence and pursuit.
Create your own index: Don’t measure success by another man’s standard. Measure your work by your well defined metrics. Let your work not be about images or pictures you share on social media but about impact in the lives of people. Always ask yourself, “Who is better because I showed up to lead?”
Make a conscious habit to celebrate others BOLDLY, not in your mind. When you stumble on someone doing something or saying something you like and are inspired, celebrate them BOLDLY. Don’t say it in your mind, let them know. Even when no one claps for you, clap for others. Sow the seeds. You are here to serve, not to get applause. Celebrate someone today. Send them mails, write them a text, comment on their work and never be intimidated.
Focus on your mission. Focus is a difficult task in this generation. Because it is a generation that seeks accolades easily. But for you as a leader, focus more on the assignment than the accolades. If you are looking for accolades, learn to give yourself one. Celebrate your small wins not comparing with anyone else's'.
They say Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t open your door to the thief.
You are not called to compete, you are called to contribute.
G.O.